Holla at your girl, I am doing my 2nd truth Tuesday on an ACTUAL Tuesday.
Truthfully, I am feeling pretty down these past couple of days. It's natural for me and happens from time to time. Depression runs in my family, so I often find myself falling into these moods where I just want to sleep and isolate myself for days. I hate it but when I finally snap out of it I feel a lot better. I guess for me sometimes it can be beneficial because I live so much for the happiness of others that when I am feeling down is when I finally just cry and give myself some of the attention I've been needing...
Last night, I was just at home watching a movie and I all of a sudden just got that feeling in my throat and was choking trying to hold back tears. I didn't even know where it was coming from but I knew I was about to cry. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what was happening. Like I said before, I've been feeling claustrophobic lately and also sort of numb. The best way to describe that without going into too much detail is: lately I have so much going on, so much running through my mind, and so many things I'm unsure of and trying to figure out, that I feel like life is right in my face and not backing down. It's really overwhelming, and because of that feeling it gives me, I try to avoid dealing with those things daily and just numbing myself from feeling any emotion. In the end, we all know that will catch up with you at full speed and that's what I feel like is happening right now :(
So, in short, today I am working, crying, wishing I was sleeping...and trying my best to talk to people I love instead of completely isolating myself...no fun...
Truth for this Tuesday... I am stopped/lost/sad/confused/overwhelmed/down/exhausted/in need of some serious support from my loved ones ♥
xxxooo
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
What's to Come
Today I am pondering on things to come in my life. I'm a girl, so you can imagine how often I do this;) Pinterest, however, makes it so much easier to fall into these fantasies! I could spend hours and hours looking up weddings ideas, home ideas, ideas for my unborn children, you ladies know the drill haha. Darn you Pinterest!
I can't help but think about getting married, having and taking care of my family, a home. It all makes me so excited! Ever since I can remember I have always wanted to be a wife and mom. I have always had ambitions to do other things with my life as well, from a fashion designer in NYC, to a Dental Hygenist, to a teacher, to a Journalism and Photography major. But the one thing that I have always been most certain of, that has never once changed or been doubted in my mind, is my desire to be a wife and mom. I have always envisioned myself doing these things at a young age. (No people I am not plotting to have a child) But I have just never been that girl to say I want to be 30 when I have my first child. It's just such an amazing concept to me! I have a giving heart that I can't wait to put to even more use. I can't wait to spend my days running from cheerleading to football to bible study etc, to teach this little being that I created, to work hard for such an incredible purpose.
This could all be due to the fact that I have a gynormous family full of amazing mommas and wives.. I've got to watch my own mother, sisters, and family members have the most rewarding and incredible job in the world. Not that it is always an easy ride by any means. I have watched each of them overcome some of the worst struggles that I never understood how they made it through. That's what I love about moms. They are invincible, my mom, and most moms out there, are every child's hero. When something goes wrong, you call mom. I want to be that to somebody, how special. Maybe that is why I take such pride in being an aunt. I just can't even process in my mind or describe what little miracles children are, and when I meet people who don't like kids or aren't sweet and playful with them... I secretly want to cause them pain haha, just playing...... kind of.
Anyways, this post is kind of random and out of the blue but like any girl I spend much of my days thinking about these things. And while we're on the topic, how wonderful are moms? I am so thankful for my mommy for setting the best examples for me, raising me in a home with Christian values, and always providing me with the best life possible. Even when she's having the worst of days, she will always come to my rescue. She has been through the worst and still always gives us her best, my mom is a fighter. She is and always will be my #1 hero.
Happy Sunday folks :)
xxxooo
I can't help but think about getting married, having and taking care of my family, a home. It all makes me so excited! Ever since I can remember I have always wanted to be a wife and mom. I have always had ambitions to do other things with my life as well, from a fashion designer in NYC, to a Dental Hygenist, to a teacher, to a Journalism and Photography major. But the one thing that I have always been most certain of, that has never once changed or been doubted in my mind, is my desire to be a wife and mom. I have always envisioned myself doing these things at a young age. (No people I am not plotting to have a child) But I have just never been that girl to say I want to be 30 when I have my first child. It's just such an amazing concept to me! I have a giving heart that I can't wait to put to even more use. I can't wait to spend my days running from cheerleading to football to bible study etc, to teach this little being that I created, to work hard for such an incredible purpose.
This could all be due to the fact that I have a gynormous family full of amazing mommas and wives.. I've got to watch my own mother, sisters, and family members have the most rewarding and incredible job in the world. Not that it is always an easy ride by any means. I have watched each of them overcome some of the worst struggles that I never understood how they made it through. That's what I love about moms. They are invincible, my mom, and most moms out there, are every child's hero. When something goes wrong, you call mom. I want to be that to somebody, how special. Maybe that is why I take such pride in being an aunt. I just can't even process in my mind or describe what little miracles children are, and when I meet people who don't like kids or aren't sweet and playful with them... I secretly want to cause them pain haha, just playing...... kind of.
Anyways, this post is kind of random and out of the blue but like any girl I spend much of my days thinking about these things. And while we're on the topic, how wonderful are moms? I am so thankful for my mommy for setting the best examples for me, raising me in a home with Christian values, and always providing me with the best life possible. Even when she's having the worst of days, she will always come to my rescue. She has been through the worst and still always gives us her best, my mom is a fighter. She is and always will be my #1 hero.
Happy Sunday folks :)
xxxooo
Saturday, June 9, 2012
What the...
This past week I feel like I have been running on 0 hours of sleep. And it's like every free moment I have throughout the day, I find myself dozing off. I feel so lame and pathetic and like I should be out doing something active, but this crazy Idaho weather also puts a damper on things and makes staying inside snuggled up so much easier :/ So basically, every work morning, regardless of how many hours of sleep I got, my eyes are just rolling.. It is so crazy and makes the work day go by so slowly! I hope I kick this to the curb soon because it's really weighing me down.
I went out for my girlfriend, Chelsey's, bachelorette party Thursday night and what a fun, different, and wild experience that was! A few of us girls got all dressed up and tore up the town to say the least;) It's so crazy how quickly things change after high school. You go from being surrounded by people who will barely date to suddenly watching some of those same people get married and have children, so crazy but in some cases, so beautiful! Chelsey's case is obviously a "so beautiful" one, I am so so excited for her wedding! It is the 16th and I am a bridesmaid, aaah. I am just so happy for her and her sweet little life ahead!
Here are a few pics of Whit and I before meeting up with the girls!!
Also, lately, I just don't feel like there are enough hours in the day. I am always doing something for somebody, whether it be myself, or a family member and I always feel like I am letting somebody else down at the end of the day. It's difficult because I hate to say no. I would love to be super woman and be able to satisfy everyone's needs but sometimes that just doesn't work out and it kills me. On top of that, life seems "clustered" lately. I can't even think of another word to describe it. It's sort of making me claustrophobic though, and I don't like it at all.
Sooo, there's a little scatter-brained post for you until next time;)
xxxooo
I went out for my girlfriend, Chelsey's, bachelorette party Thursday night and what a fun, different, and wild experience that was! A few of us girls got all dressed up and tore up the town to say the least;) It's so crazy how quickly things change after high school. You go from being surrounded by people who will barely date to suddenly watching some of those same people get married and have children, so crazy but in some cases, so beautiful! Chelsey's case is obviously a "so beautiful" one, I am so so excited for her wedding! It is the 16th and I am a bridesmaid, aaah. I am just so happy for her and her sweet little life ahead!
Here are a few pics of Whit and I before meeting up with the girls!!
Also, lately, I just don't feel like there are enough hours in the day. I am always doing something for somebody, whether it be myself, or a family member and I always feel like I am letting somebody else down at the end of the day. It's difficult because I hate to say no. I would love to be super woman and be able to satisfy everyone's needs but sometimes that just doesn't work out and it kills me. On top of that, life seems "clustered" lately. I can't even think of another word to describe it. It's sort of making me claustrophobic though, and I don't like it at all.
Sooo, there's a little scatter-brained post for you until next time;)
xxxooo
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